Erykah Badu so angelically sings “I work at pleasing me ’cause I can’t please you, so that’s why I do what I do” and it wasn’t until recently hearing that song that it spoke greater volumes to me. No matter what you do or don’t do in life, you will not and cannot please everybody. Moreover, it is not selfish and or vain to put yourself before others. There will come a point in time when one will realize that after always putting others before his/herself, he/she is the only one in the equation left unhappy. It is this simple, one must learn how to balance the two.
Also, as harsh as it may sound, not everyone we entertain deserves a set in our theater (life, that is). The easiest way to test this is to say “no” every once in awhile or don’t give someone what he or she wants. Those who are true to you will display humility and a sense of understanding. On the other hand, those who are simply using you will catch an attitude because your decision did not involve the wants of him or her.
It is sad, especially when the ones we consider to be friends, display such selfish gestures, but it also is a lesson learned. That is, they were never down from the beginning, only there because your friendship was convenient for their selfish wants.
Disclaimer: I am not saying that everyone is out to get you, but what I am saying is we need to pay closer attention to those we consider to be friends. This realization and course of action to correct it is not an easy process, but keep these words of advice in mind, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars,” stated by Kahlil Gibran. It will be a hurtful process not only to find out “friends” can do you so wrong, but also having to leave them behind you after they have been a major part of your life. However, in the end, you will be a better person.
In attempting to please everyone else, there will always one group that is satisfied with your actions and another group that is unhappy — it’s human nature to disagree, and there is nothing you can do to change it. Rather, living for yourself will encourage your happiness. Thus, those who are true to you will be happy just because you are happy!
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i love it my brotha its the cycle of life to see who is really there for you while you please your self in this crazy world.
This is a nice thought Mel keep up the good work.
…..I totally agree. You’ve stated a valid point. You have to look out for self first before you can even think about looking out for anybody else. Its good to know that someone has their head on straight!
Exactly! If one cannot figure out what truly makes him or her genuinely happy, how on Earth can he or she figure out how to make others happy? Thanks for the support
Melvin,
Ami sent me your site; I must admit I’m grateful. Your words are so inspiring. Continue to share your gift… we all can learn a lot from your powerful testimonies. Blessings to you!